(That whooshing sound? That was your mind being blown once again.)
Sherry offers us Shih-tzus and Shorkies of the Imperial, teacup, and "fuzzy wuzzy" variety, and "teddy bear" Shichons. She lays out each red flag on her sites with loving care:
- Flashy, weird graphics.
- Shipping. "I ship puppies with Continental Airlines year round because all other airlines stop shipping pets when the weather is over 70 degrees." How 'bout that. I wonder why that could possibly be? "After all our year of shipping puppies to all parts of the United States such as Alaska , and to Canada , Switzerland . I also have a puppy in the Bahamas . We Are The Experts on Shipping your new Shorkie puppy home!" Sister, that sure makes you something and the word isn't "expert".
- Christianity. It's a very small reference, but I caught it, sneaky. [fingerwag] However, we'll let this one slide, since it's not something I'd have even noticed if it weren't for the fact that every bad breeder out there seems to feel the need to tell us they love Jesus on their websites.
- Misplaced quotation marks, the bane of every satirical blogger. "I did not keep cross breeding because of my "Love " for the Imperial Sized ShihTzu's . I was strictly into the " PURE BRED " Toy breeds and have spent Many years " Perfecting " the Imperial ( Sized ) AKC ShihTzu." Ookay.
- NuVet Vitamins.
Damn you, NuVet! This is a conspiracy on an international scale! What is going on here?? The more I find The NuVet Clause in breeders' health warranties, the more curious I get, yet there is no information on NuVet, at all, anywhere. Using Sherry Carter's order code (since you can't access the order form without one) and the alias Kenny Rogers, I tried to slip behind enemy lines to do some reconnaissance, and discovered ... absolutely nothing. That place is sealed tighter than Fort Knox in deep space. It'll tell you what you can buy and how much the product is, and nothing else. I feel like I'm negotiating with a drug peddler on the corner of Fifth and Main.
Every weird breeder tells you to go NuVet and they all give you the exact same spiel about it and how your health contract is null and void if you fail to buy it. You only get an order code from a catalogue, wherever they're hiding those (in the stomach of a Brazilian mule on a charter flight north, I assume) or from a breeder. And only the weird breeders have these mysterious codes. Bemused, I turned to C, my dog guru and veterinary consult. She was able to confirm what I'd already guessed: there's nothing sinister in the NuVet products, but they are only vitamins - forget the turds testifying that NuVet is responsible for preventing hip dysplasia in their dogs or that NuVet cured their dog's infection without any help from antibiotics. Most can't stop raving about how much shinier their pet's coat is, but any good diet could do that. (C forever pushes for veterinary diets like Medi-Cal over store-bought food, as, she says, it's the most balanced and consistent diet you can offer your pet.)
What a tangent. My point is, you don't need NuVet to keep your pet healthy, so it's painfully obvious to me that breeders are somehow profiting from this scheme whenever somebody uses their order code to buy a product. Right? I'm not crazy, right? And since NuVet gives its order code to the weird ones regardless of standards, in a roundabout way we can say NuVet supports irresponsible breeding and even puppy mills - right?
Whatever, just boycott NuVet with me. Now let's get back to Sherry, who tells us about hypoglycemia in her dogs and what to do if your dog has an episode. She also tells us that this can be brought on by stress - like, just throwing out there, being flown to the Bahamas - and a lack of TLC. Hypoglycemia happens in very small puppies, Sherry, like teacup toys, as if they don't have enough issues already; but you know that.
And there's some drivel about the AKC and how people who line-breed (inbreed) know what they're doing so why can't we leave them alone. "Beware of anyone that is cutting down AKC pure bred lines when they are cross breeding . One has to Ponder "What " they are really breeding." What are "you" breeding, Sherry?
